With this new journey, I’ve come to realize that I needed to rid myself of a lot of things and that I need to do A LOT of cleansing. I smoke-cleanse my home all the time, but it’s time to declutter my life and my home. It’s time to rid myself of things that no longer nurture me.
At first it was social media. My original intent was to completely get rid of all of it. But being so far away from family and friends, I decided not to. So with that, I keep Facebook but cleaned out my friends list and will probably do so again. Twitter is a place where I follow a lot of spiritual people and I actually met a few people who are absolutely inspirational to me. But again, I cleansed my following list. The only downside to keeping social media is that I still see a lot of negativity and a lot of hate. And every now then, I get sucked into the drama even when I try not to. I may not always actively be a part of it, but I followed it when I could simply scroll past and go on about my business. Either way, I’ve done a lot of unfriending and unfollowing and I can definitely see a difference. It’s a bit lighter. On top of social media, this includes relationships. I don’t mind cutting off ties with people that don’t do anything but bring me down. I have my family and a few good/best friends and that’s all I need. I’m not that much of a social butterfly anyways, so not much is changing with this.
My job is another thing that I no longer have. I didn’t really have much of choice in quitting, but it would have only been a matter of time. It just happened sooner than I thought it would have. I actually liked having a job. It felt good to have one. I got pregnant as soon as I got out of the military and that was in June of 2014. The military was my first and only job until October of 2016. When I got the job, it was to have a little extra money. At the time, it wasn’t something that I needed. I wanted to have a little extra money to save, but I worked there for almost a year and still didn’t learn how to save for shit. Granted I didn’t get paid that much, but still. Retail isn’t what I thought it would be. And it just so happened that I chose the one store in the entire mall that got trashed and destroyed the worst. And DAILY. Don’t get me wrong though. It wasn’t all bad. I liked the people that I worked with…well most of them. But we won’t get into that. It makes work go by a little smoother when you have co-workers that you enjoy being around. And my boss was very understanding of my situation and always worked with my hours when I needed to. It’s one of the reasons that I didn’t want to leave. Most probably would have fired me to be honest. Still overall, it was too much of a negative environment for me especially when I found out I was expecting baby number two. And since this pregnancy is a lot different than my first, I feel like this is all new to me. So although a situation came up to where I had no choice but to quit, I take it as a sign that it was time for me to go anyways.
Eating healthier is another way of cleansing in a sense. As many times as I’ve said I was going to start eating better and failed, it kind of becomes like the little boy who cried wolf. My inner ‘eat-whatever-the-hell-you-want’ girl is probably rolling her eyes. But as the older I get, metabolism just doesn’t quite work the same way. And some of that has to do with the fact that I’ve become very lazy with fitness and just not watching what I put into my body. I have to start treating it with respect. Another big life change is that I want to become vegan or at the very least, vegetarian (for now). It’s not just health reasons, either but also ethical. Becoming vegan has been heavy on my mind especially lately. I did give up meat once before but it didn’t last long. Mostly because I’m selfish and also because I never attempted to actually try recipes out of my comfort zone. I can’t go full on vegan in a day. It has to be a slow transition, as I am 18 weeks pregnant. So right now, I’m just giving up meat. AND YES YOU CAN GET PROTEIN AND NUTRIENTS FROM ELSEWHERE THAT DOESN’T INCLUDE MEAT.. Plus, I still need to learn what I like and what I don’t. Most of the products I use are already vegan/animal cruelty free. Might as well make the food I eat animal free too. It’s not going to be easy at first and it’ll be a lot of hit or miss, but I’ll get the hang of it.
And last, but definitely not least…electronics. I hate to admit this, but I spend entirely TOO much time on my phone and in front of the tv. Often, you can catch me scrolling through Facebook and Twitter. Or in front of the tv crying because Shonda just killed off one of my favorite characters on Grey’s Anatomy…or binge watching some TV show on Netflix/Hulu (especially Charmed/Law & Order SVU) . I’m really bad about binge watching shows. I want to get in the habit of meditating and mentioning things I’m grateful for when I first wake up instead of checking my notifications. I want to get in the habit of spending more time outside and in nature instead of sitting on the couch (just maybe when it gets a wee bit colder. Sorry, but I don’t care for summer time because of the heat). Plus, my son absolutely loves being outside. I want to get in the habit of picking up my book instead of my phone when I’m bored while my son is napping. I love reading. I LOVE it, but I don’t do enough of it unless it’s a Facebook post or tweet. FYI, I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with being on your phone or watching tv. But simply that I do too much of it and that I need to spend less time with it. That’s all.
This are only some of the ways I’m changing things so I can better myself. To put it all in one blogpost would be like writing a short story. But these are the things that I think affect me a lot as far as hindering my progress.
C L E A N S I N G. It’s my life right now so I can make room to grow. 🌱
Thank you for reading, and until next time.